They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
