rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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