Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
