Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
