saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
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