Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
