Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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