I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
