I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
