Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
