I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
