go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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