Dual....:-)
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
