About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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