I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
