she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
