I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
