I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
