I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
