i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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