Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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