You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
