if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
