so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
