OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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