she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
