it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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