You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
