she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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