BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
