ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
