flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
