I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
