what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
