Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
