yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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