would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
