Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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