Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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