all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
