thus making me awesome and them whores
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
