I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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