You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
