Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
