You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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