I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
