didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
