I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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