So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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