Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
