i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
