I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
